The SquarePants effect
by Mace sheperd
Summary: The confederacy won the civil war and now it's Spongebob loving fanatic president will conquer the world
1. Chapter 1

Hey everyone this is a crossover between the spongebob movie video game and mass effect.

In this universe The Confederate states won the civil war so The Confederacy and The union remained separate nations.

Warning: this chapter contains racial slurs, I don't approve of racial slurs but I'm writing a racist character so it's necessary

This chapter also contains other controversial content such as slavery.

I don't approve of these concepts I just wanted to create and explore an alternate timeline and then combine that alternate timeline with Spongebob

If you're a pussy who gets triggered easily then DON'T read this, I don't want to hear your SJW bullshit

Disclaimer I don't own Spongebob or mass effect!

Location Richmond virginia, The Confederate states of America.

The President's mansion

It's the year 2011 (April 6th), tensions between The United states and the Confederate states are at an all time high as The USA is putting more and more sanctions on The CSA for their continued practice of slavery.

Inside the president's mansion Phineas lee Jr descendant of Confederate General Robert e lee and president of the Confederate states had a dastardly scheme to end the tensions and bring the entire world under his control.

Phineas was an overweight tall man, he was 6 ft 9 inches tall and obese, he was bald but had a ginger horseshoe mustache, he was wearing a black business suit with a tie that had Spongebob's face on it.

He also had a scarf with pictures of Patrick star's face all over it.

This guy was a huge Spongebob fan.

He said "Mwahahaha!"

"Those bleeding heart union Americans think they have us confederate Americans in an iron grip but soon I'll prove them all wrong, soon the whole world will be ruled by me! Soon I will be living in a perfect world where niggers not just here but all over the world will know their place and on top of that my favorite videogame will be real!"

And a racist too.

He picked a square case off a table, the case had a picture of Spongebob and patrick on it, both had serious expressions on their faces.

This was the videogame of the first Spongebob SquarePants movie

He opened the case and took out a disc.

He held the disc lovingly and caressed it before kissing it.

He placed it inside a Playstation 2.

The Playstation 2 was hooked up to several red wires which were in turn hooked up to a huge pineapple shaped device that had a small keyhole on it as well as four "arms" that ended in axes.

This was the Morphoapple 9000 the device that would transform everyone in the world.

Phineas said "The whole world will be transformed according to my wishes starting now!"

He activated the Playstation 2 before he inserted a key into the Morphoapple 9000 and turned the key.

The ax arms of the Morphoapple 9000 began to spin with the top pair spinning clockwise and the bottom pair spinning counter clockwise.

A blue bubble of energy grew around the Playstation 2 before it traveled up the red wires and onto the Morphoapple 9000's ax arms which begun to spin more rapidly and thus expand the energy bubble.

Phineas laughed maniacally.

The energy built up and then with a colossal boom the blue energy bubble exploded outwards.

But it didn't destroy anything instead everything it hit was transformed starting with Phineas.

The energy bubble spread throughout the Confederate states and soon throughout the world.

Peoples houses were transformed into blue easter island heads (their houses were transformed into copies of Squidward's house) while restaurants were transformed into copies of the Krusty krab.

Cars were transformed into Patty wagons (basically giant burgers with pickles for wheels)

Cats were transformed into large cartoonish snails.

We see a black cat in an alley playing with a mouse, however that cat gets hit with the blue energy bubble and is transformed into a green snail with a blue and pink checkered shell.

Chickens are transformed into giant cartoonish oysters.

And we see a mother in the union pushing her baby in a stroller down a sidewalk.

They both get hit by the energywave.

The mothers clothes disappear exposing her breasts(which increased in size) and vagina, she gains a peanut shaped helmet (with a boater hat on top) and green skin on her face and white with vertical pink striped skin on her chest.

She gains a flat picture of a red bowtie on her chest as well and a picture of a white apron on her stomach, her lower half was purple with her feet being brown.

She has become a fogger from the Goofy goober level of the Spongebob SquarePants movie videogame.

Codex entry Fogger: Foggers are the weakest type of Spongebobian taking only seven shots to kill, the males are chubby while the females have curvaceous supermodel figures.

They attack by exhaling a toxic gas. There are six different types of Foggers one from each level of The Spongebob movie videogame, The Goofy goober, the hillbilly, the thug tug, the trench, the shell city dead ahead, and the planktopolis fogger.

Her baby meanwhile took on a similar transformation except his lost more of his human traits, as he now looked like a small fat green bipedal fish with a peanut helmet, boater hat, a pink and white striped shirt that was apart of his body and purple pants that were actually apart of his body too.

In other words the clothes were a second layer of skin and outside of them was his penis and four testicles (a quad like the krogans)

Both mother and son had been transformed into goofy goober Foggers and the baby burped and some green toxic gas came out.

Location United kingdom

The energy wave was reaching here.

We see Steven hawking giving a physics speech at a university when he and everyone there gets hit by the energy wave.

Steven hawking transforms into blue bipedal fish, with a white beard and an eyepatch covering his left eye (the eyepatch was actually apart of his body like all other clothes are) he had a white captains hat attached to the top of his head and a black jacket (in reality a second layer of skin) and no pants.

On his right arm was a purple and blue striped worm on a leash attached to his hand.

Steven hawking had become a spinner, specifically a thug tug spinner.

Codex entry Spinners: Spinners are one of the stronger types of Spongebobians, they take 21 shots with mass effect rounds to kill, and when they're spinning they're completely in vulnerable, there are three types of spinners, The thug tug, the planktopolis and the shell city dead ahead.

The students in the crowd get transformed into various enemies from the SpongeBob movie video game.

One gets transformed into a green bipedal snail like creature that has a single stalk eye.

It's shell connects to a gun which its left hand is holding.

Codex entry popper: Poppers are one of the stronger types of Spongebobians, they are capable of short range teleportation, they attack by shooting energy blasts out of the guns attached to their bodies, there are two types of poppers, the trench popper which is the type the student became and the Planktopolis popper (which we will see later on)

Another student transformed into a glowing pink squid like creature that was inside a glowing pink floaty tube.

Codex entry Flingers: Flingers are one of the stronger types of Spongebobians taking 28 shots from a mass effect round to kill, Flingers are capable of flying and spitting acid as a means of offense. Flingers come in three types Hill billy, Trench, and Shell city dead ahead.

(The student above became a trench flinger)

Steven hawking now a thug tug Spinner looked himself over he asked himself "What happened here why did I and everyone in this room transform?"

The student who had become the trench flinger was flying clumsily throughout the air "Whoah whoah! I can fly but how do I pilot this thing!"

He then abruptly crashed into a bookshelf.

"Ow" He remarked.

"Good grief I'm naked!" cried out the student who had been turned into a Trench popper " And I now have twice as many testicles I'm a freak! Don't look at me!"

He tried to cover himself up.

Everyone in the room noticed that besides being transformed into anthropomorphic mutant fish they were also naked and hastily clutched their private parts.

All of a sudden a sound like nails on a chalkboard filled each one of their heads causing them to clutch their heads in agony.

The worm on the leash attached to Steven hawking's right hand began to bark a sign that Steven was under great stress.

Steven asked "What happening to me? I feel like my brain is being reprogrammed!"

He and all of the students then heard Phineas' voice in their head "That's because it is being reprogrammed! I am Phineas Murdock lee Jr, president of the Confederate states of America I have transformed everyone on Earth into copies of the enemies from my favorite videogame and I'm now programming all of you to obey me, you are all now citizens of The Confederate states, soon you will think the same as I do"

Steven hawking clenched his teeth "You won't get away with this you racist monster"

Phineas' laugh filled their heads "Mister hawking you poor naive fool I already have"

And with that last taunt Phineas completed the reprogramming process causing Steven hawking and all of the students in the room to collapse.

They stayed like that for three minutes before they rose again and declared "Glory to the Confederacy! Praise Spongebob!"

All over the world we see the effects.

In Africa, Elephants are transformed into Giant fifteen feet tall red two legged frog fish.

Rhinos are transformed into twenty feet tall blue apple shaped monsters, with six crab like legs and one eye on its face while it's mouth was on a stalk.

On the ocean floor whales were transformed into giant five eyed green bipedal monsters.

These creatures will become the tanks of the now expanded Confederate states army.

In England at The Buckingham Palace we see that Queen Elizabeth has been transformed into a blue fish with a bucket on her head and a red and white horizontally striped chest, she is piloting a grey flying trashcan like vehicle (which is actually apart of her body)

She had become a Merv a Shell city,dead ahead merv to be exact.

Codex entry Merv: Mervs can not be killed in close combat due to the laser their vehicle shoots, they are capable of flight and short range energy attacks, it takes 32 mass effect rounds to kill a merv. There are two types of Mervs the Shell city dead ahead and the planktopolis merv, the latter being more powerful as it can fire rockets.

The rest of the British royal family have become Mervs also.

We now go back to the President's mansion in Richmond virginia.

We see that Phineas has become a Thug tug fogger a type of fogger that resembles a tan fish with a cowboy hat and a black shirt with a fish skull and crossbones and blue pants (all second layers of skin) he was still overweight and 6 ft 9 and he still maintained his ginger horseshoe mustache and blue eyes.

He laughed "Mwahahaha my plan is complete, my perfect world has been created, now I can have my revenge on Obama by forcing him to watch as I raise the Confederate banner over the former Union capital"

Timeline

On April 6 2011 at 12:05 pm Phineas lee Jr, President of the Confederate states activates the Morphoapple 9000 transforming everyone (except black people) on Earth into enemies from the SpongeBob movie videogame, he then proceeds to brainwash the transformed populace and bring them under his control.

This event will become known as The Supreme enlightenment.

April 6 2011 1:00 pm Phineas with most of the world under his control storms the white house and captures now ex president Barack Obama (who hadn't been transformed because he's black) and first lady Michelle Obama and their children, he forces Obama to watch as the Confederate flag is raised over the former Union capital, he taunts Obama with the knowledge that all blacks in the union and across the world will become slaves to the Confederacy.

April 7th 2011, the only parts of the world not under Phineas' control are countries in Africa which due to their black populations have armies of men that weren't transformed by the energy bubble, a war known as The futile rebellions begin. The Futile rebellions stretch across all of Africa and Europe where free black people are fighting to stay free from the confederacy.

April 8th 2011 Barack Obama and his wife Michelle are killed while leading a slave revolt.

April 9th 2011 6:01 pm The Futile rebellions end as black rebels across the world are either killed or surrender to overwhelming Spongebobian might.

April 10th 2011 10:00 am Phineas M lee Jr declares himself "Manager supreme" a position which makes him a dictator over all of Spongebobity( the collection of the Spongebobian race) he also declares that April 6 shall forever be known as a national holiday called "Enlightenment appreciation day" where everyone in the confederacy is required to build a statue of him to show their gratitude towards Phineas for showing them the true path.

April 11th 2011 Phineas m lee begins spreading the religion of Spongebobism, a religion that states Spongebob is a god and that he Phineas is Spongebob's son.

The religion of Spongebobism states that the entire universe is nothing but a grain of sand on the floor of the giant ocean Pacificdrasil and that all of the Spongebob characters are God's who watch over the grain of sand that is the universe.

Spongebobism states that the spongebob episodes are visions from the "gods" of their daily lives.

Mr krabs is the god of greed and profit.

Plankton is the god of war.

Sandy is the goddess of science.

Squidward is the god of music and art.

Patrick is the god of food, and entertainment

And Spongebob king of the gods is god of Space, sea,time and friendship.

Spongebobism becomes the fastest growing religion in the history of Earth mainly due to the brainwashing of Earth's inhabitants, the only people who don't convert to the religion are the black slaves who refuse to believe it but won't admit their disbelief aloud for fear of their master's wrath.

April 12 2011: Manager supreme Phineas M lee jr declares that Earth shall be renamed Robert after his ancestor Robert e lee who led the confederacy to victory during the Civil war.

April 13th 2011: A new curriculum is instituted in schools across Robert to indoctrinate the new generations from a young age, the youth are taught three important sayings "Glory to the Confederacy!" and "Praise Spongebob!" (the latter being a religious saying) and "Praise Phineas!"

April 14th 2011: The Confederacy's new science division The Cult of Sandy has been established this cult is dedicated to the pursuit of "Holy" science in the name of the science goddess Sandy.

Timeskip

May 7th 2011: The terms Spongebobian is invented by Phineas for the transformed people of Robert while a new racial slur Mud lubber is invented to be used to refer to the non transformed black people of Robert.

Another Timeskip

2050 it's discovered that the transformation has granted increased lifespans to the transformed, Phineas confirms this by announcing that he's extended the average life span of a Spongebobian to 1198 years.

2080's Manned outpost are established on Mars by The Cult of sandy.

Yet another time skip

2103 The city of New Planktopolis is founded on Mars however unexplained magnetic field shifts are soon discovered.

We now go to the year 2148 a date that will change all of Spongebobity just as much as the Supreme enlightenment did.

Location Mars, deseado crater

We come upon a prospecting team of three Spongebobians, two of them are trench poppers (one male one female) and their leader Mateus silva is a shell city dead ahead flinger.

Mateus has dirty pink skin on his face, lime green skin on his fin like arms, a grey dirty shirt as a second layer of skin, dirty blue pants as a second layer of skin on his lower half(with his 4 testicles and penis on the outside of his skin pants) he is inside a dirty pink floaty tube which allows him to fly and he has a grey bucket on his head with the letter CB written in red on it (the bucket helmet is an exoskeleton)

Mateus grinned "Well it appears we've found where those unexplained magnetic shifts have been coming from time to start digging"

A crane that resembled a burger with pickles for wheels began to dig.

Sometime later then unearthed what appeared to be a former outpost.

Mateus said "This outpost was most certainly not designed by the Confederacy or any Spongebobians for that matter it's to old"

He flew into the now unearthed outpost and was followed by his popper comrades.

Inside the outpost they discovered starships.

Mateus said "Starships, actual alien starships this is a real alien outpost! Praise Spongebob! And Praise Sandy! The manager supreme will be so proud of us for this discovery! The technology here will advance The Confederacy by hundreds of years! Glory to the Confederacy!"

"Glory to the Confederacy!" shouted his popper comrades.

And so with the discovery of the Prothean ruins, Spongebobity discovered Element zero and mass effect technology thus advancing their technology by two hundred years.

2149: the charon relay is discovered and The Confederacy enters an unparalleled age of expansion

Author's notes

So my ideas for this story are that this version of Humanity has been turned into enemies from the videogame version of the Spongebob SquarePants movie.

The government of Spongebobity is a theocratic dictatorship, and I based some of it off North korea with how Phineas brainwashes the public to regard him as the son of god(which is Spongebob in their religion) I also based some of the government off of Warhammer 40k with a scientific cult, The Cult of Sandy is a parody of The cult mechanicus.

To be clear again I don't approve of slavery, I just wanted to explore an alternate timeline and combine it with Spongebob.

So since this is the Confederate states yes there will be black oppression in this story, if you get offended easily by that don't read.

Also in this story The Confederate states are a nudist society, that's why I portrayed all of the Spongebobians with their private parts exposed.

This is because Phineas is a pervert that wants to see everyone naked.

The only people who wear clothes in The CSA are the black slaves (or mud lubber as they are called) as Phineas doesn't want to see them naked.

Anyways please leave a review!


	2. The First Contact Holy war

Hey welcome to chapter 2 of the SquarePants effect. This chapter will show the first contact war.

Now I want to acknowledge that someone very important has died.

Stephen Hillenburg the creator of Spongebob is dead, his death is a tragedy as he changed our childhoods for the better.

I started writing this chapter right around when he died so i intend to dedicate this chapter to him.

Now for a Codex entry!

Slammer: Slammers are a type of Spongebobian that attack with a blunt object, there are 3 types of Slammers.

A green fish type which has a pink and white striped second layer of skin on their body and a Peanut helmet exoskeleton on their head.

These are the Goofy goober slammers, they attack via a large broom to slam down on enemies.

Then there is the hillbilly slammer a mustard yellow fish like creature with a second layer of skin resembling overalls and a bucket exoskeleton on their head, they attack with a banjo.

And finally there is the thug tug slammer, a purple fish like creature that has a second layer of skin that resembles a jacket and a red ski mask like exoskeleton on their head, they attack via a crowbar.

Now onto the story!

YEAR 2157

Spongebobity is rapidly expanding throughout the galaxy, planting the Confederate flag on every planet they colonize in the name of the Confederacy and activating every Relay they find.

We come upon a Spongebobian ship which looks like a brown rock with a yellow antenna on it and it was connected to its bottom half by a square shaped structure.

It overall looked like a combination between Patrick's rock and the enterprise from Star trek the next generation.

It was in orbit around a mass relay.

On the ship we come upon the Spongebobian crew led by Captain David Anderson.

David Anderson was a trench popper, he looked like a green bipedal snail with a single stalk eye and a gun attached to his shell.

The bridge of the ship had dark blue walls with light blue flowers drawn on them.

David Anderson said "Praise the gods, I bet the Tech Rabbi will be having a field day activating this mass relay"

In the launch bay we see a group of Spongebobians that are planktopolis poppers, they are male and look like green fish with a red shirt like second layer of skin on their chest, a bucket like exoskeleton on their head, a double barreled gun that was apart of their body.

On their back was ammunition for the gun that was apart of their body, in the form of six additional buckets connected to a metal back pack.

What differed these planktopolis poppers from other planktopolis poppers was they were wearing the "Sacred helmet of sandy" on their head.

The sacred helmet of sandy was a glass spherical helmet built to resemble the science goddess Sandy's own helmet,

CODEX ENTRY TECH RABBI: Tech rabbi is the Spongebobian word for both engineer and scientist they are members of the Cult of Sandy and wear "Sacred helmets" to channel the knowledge of Sandy.

One of the planktopolis popper tech rabbis said "launch the Mermaid mandroids"

Another one replied "Aye aye brother" ( Tech rabbi consider each other brother and sister as members of the Cult of sandy)

The subordinate member walked over to a group of robots that looked like a fat old man wearing a sea shell bra and a star fish on his nose as well as a super hero costume but the robots entire bodies were made of a white alloy.

(Imagine the NS5'S from The movie I robot but built to resemble mermaid man)

The subordinate tech rabbi clapped his hands thus activating the mermaid mandroids.

All ten robots came to life with red glowing chest.

They spoke in unison "How may we serve The Cult of Sandy and carry out Sandy's will?"

The subordinate tech rabbi replied "It's time to activate another mass relay, prepare for launch"

The mermaid mandroids replied "We live to serve you and Sandy"

The lead Tech Rabbi then said "Clear bay for Mermaid mandroid launch"

The Group of tech rabbi not wanting to get sucked out into space exited the launch bay so the Mermaid mandroids could launch and activate the mass relay.

Once the launch bay was clear the doors parted and the Mermaid mandroids activated the Jets in their boots flying into space.

However they had no idea they were about to make first contact with alien life.

Just a few light years away we see four sleek angular orange and white ships these were Turian dreadnoughts.

On the bridge of the Palaven's wrath we come upon Captain Desolas arterius.

Desolas arterius was a 6 ft tall turian in armor.

A member of the Turian bridge crew said "Captain we detect a mass relay being activated!"

Desolas said "Whoever is activating the relay must be punished set a course for the mass relay!"

The four Turian dreadnoughts shot off into space.

(TEN MINUTES LATER)

Back at the mass relay the ten mermaid mandroids just finished activating it

In unison they sent a transmission to the Spongebobian ship "Will of Sandy carried out Mass relay activated"

On the bridge David Anderson sent the robots the message "Good job you made the gods proud now return to the ship"

The mermaid mandroids broke off from the mass relay and began to fly back to the ship.

That's when a trench flinger crew mate said "Captain I detect four vessels closing in on us"

That's when the turian vessels appeared.

David Anderson said "Oh my spongebob, actual aliens this is a historic moment for The Confederacy try to make contact with them"

ON THE TURIAN SHIP PALAVEN'S WRATH

"Sir they're hailing us" Said a crew member.

"Ignore them they're violating citadel law what are those things flying towards their ship?" Said Desolas.

"They appear to be some kind of mech but our scans indicate they have a much higher processing power then a VI"

Desolas said "AI? That's two laws they've broken fire on the AI first then target the ship this race must be disciplined!"

Mass effect slugs raced from the turian ship and completely destroyed the mermaid mandroids in space.

(Back on the Spongebobian ship)

"They're ignoring our hails and they just destroyed the mermaid mandroids" Said the trench flinger crewmate.

David Anderson grit his teeth "Heresy! They just committed Heresy against the science goddess Sandy by destroying robots created by her blessed servants! Fire on them!"

The four Turian vessels began firing on the Spongebobian ship at this point.

However to the surprise of the turian vessels their combined fire didn't bring down the shields of the unknown race's ship.

That's when the Spongebobian ship retaliated with red energy beams.

With a single shot the red energy beam bypassed the shield of a turian ship and blew it up.

Then two more shots and the Palaven's wrath was the only one left.

Desolas paled upon seeing how three of his ships were destroyed so effortlessly and they hadn't been able to make a dent in the unknown races ship.

"By the spirits they have energy weapons!" shouted one crew member.

Desolas ordered his crew "Retreat, we have to get reinforcements and then we'll show these law breaking scumbags who's the superior race!"

The Palaven's wrath retreated with its tail in between its legs.

(Timeskip a few days later)

We come upon the colony of Tentacles acres which is a garden world.

On Tentacle acres were the usual easter island houses and Krusty krab restaurants.

As well as a chum bucket military base that had the Confederate flag flying on a pole.

In the military base we see a shell city dead ahead spinner.

It looked like a green anthropomorphic fish with orange lips (and a black mustache above those lips), a yellow belly, a dirty pink second layer of skin on his lower half, a bucket exoskeleton with a pair of glasses over his head with a black bowl cut on top of his bucket exoskeleton.

He had a pink worm with green lips on a leash attached to his right hand.

This was General williams commander of the garrison stationed on Tentacle acres.

He addressed his troops which consisted of slammers, foggers, Flingers, Mervs and spinners.

"Listen up men for the past few days we've been preparing for an alien invasion, whoever those aliens are they could arrive anytime now, we don't know much about those aliens but we do know they're heretics and for that we shall bring punishment down on them for the gods and we will win this for both the gods and The Confederacy!"

"For the gods and for the confederacy!" shouted the troops.

General williams then said "As is customary I as general shall lead you all in the pre battle prayer"

General williams then began the battle prayer with the soldiers repeating after him "Dear Plankton god of war we seek your aid in the upcoming battle to fight our enemies, help us crush them without mercy and without remorse, let them regret the day they declared war on us with every fibre of their being in your name we pray for the confederacy amen"

Meanwhile in orbit Turian ships entered the system only to be met by Confederate ships.

The turian ships were led by the Palaven's wrath which was captained by Desolas arterius.

On the Palaven's wrath Desolas ordered "Open fire on these law breakers!"

The turian ships fired Mass effect slugs, what little good it did them as the shields of the Confederate ships held.

The Confederate ship returned fire via red energy blasts blowing up multiple turian ships.

Desolas ordered "Send troops down to the planet below we'll capture the planet!"

Turian drop ships descended through the atmosphere of Tentacle acres.

BACK ON TENTACLE ACRES.

A squad of Turians touched down in the middle of a Spongebobian city.

The spongebobian city like every other Spongebobian city had easter island head houses and buildings that resembled easter island heads in general.

The squad exited their drop ship and surveyed their surroundings.

The turians looked at the blue easter island head buildings around them.

They were incredulous wondering who in their right mind would build such buildings.

They then saw a building that was even more shocking, it looked like a seafaring ship in a bottle with statues of unknown creatures on the sea ship (the statues of unknown creatures are the spongebob characters the giant ship in a bottle is a temple)

"What's going on in this species heads to build such asinine buildings?" wondered one Turian aloud.

Another turian said "We've obviously encountered a species that has no sense of culture"

A third turian was shaking with fear "But they were kicking our asses in orbit I saw ten of our ships get blown up as we were descending to the planet what if we're out of our league?"

The turian squad commander said "Stow it all of you, The Hierarchy wants us to teach thi SD law breaking race a lesson and teach it a lesson we shall!"

The dozen other turians that made up the squad saluted "Yes captain Saren!" They replied.

All over the city more squads of Turians landed preparing to capture this city the plan being to establish a base in this city and then to go from there.

Saren commanded his troops to move out.

The Turian squad led by Saren moved through out the city streets until they found a golden statue.

(The golden statue is of Robert e lee)

"Spirits it looks like an Asari!" Said one Turian soldier.

"atleast we know what these lawbreakers look like now" said Saren.

One cocky Turian soldier got an idea "watch this" he aimed his gun at the statues head and fired a mass effect round which left a good sized hole in the statues head.

This would prove to be a bad idea as the turian squad heard a cry of rage followed by the word "HERESY!" being shouted.

They turned to the source of the noise and if they could've they would've paled.

They saw an army of Foggers, Mervs, Flingers, slammers, and Spinners advancing towards them.

A turian soldier shouted "Spirits those things are monsters they don't look like the statue at all! They have the legs of a quarian and the hands of a Drell but are still completely monstrous!"

(Spongebobians have quarian like legs and two thumbed versions of Drell hands)

Leading the Spongebobian charge was General williams who said "Kill the heretic! Rape the heretic! Tear the heretic to shreds!"

Saren couldn't understand what the spongebobians were saying but he could understand the anger and aggression in their voices and so he ordered his men

"Open fire!"

The Turians opened fire on the Spongebobians.

Unfortuneately for the Turians, Spongebobians are very tough and they didn't even flinch they kept on coming.

After a few minutes a few Spongebobians died but it wasn't enough.

The horde descended on the Turians.

The slammers crushed the turians skulls using their blunt instruments.

The foggers poisoned the turians with their poisonous breath.

The Mervs shot the turians with their lasers.

The flingers spat acid on the turians.

And the spinners tore the turians to shreds.

Soon there were only five Turians left of the squad including Saren.

They didn't need Saren to order them to retreat, their survival instincts did that for them.

They scattered throughout the city.

As Saren ran he thought

'I've never seen that kind of Brutality anywhere except maybe for a Krogan but even a group of unarmed krogan couldn't hope to take on a squad of armed elite turians like myself!'

Saren then activated his comm trying to contact the other squads.

"This is commander Saren, my squad has been decimated by the monsters here I need a status report on the other squads over!"

He only got screams in reply.

The few words he did get were

"Those monsters have got giant monster tanks and killer robots fighting along side them we're all fucked!"

Saren got a sinking feeling in his stomach.

He remembered how those flying tube creatures laughed as they spat acid onto his men and his men screamed in agony.

"What have we gotten ourselves into?" He asked himself.

He had little time to ponder that however as he was swiftly knocked out via a crowbar to the back of the head courtesy of a Thug tug slammer.

Saren fell to the ground unconscious and was picked up by the Thug tug slammer who knocked him out.

The Thug tug slammer saluted General williams who calmly walked up to survey the scene.

"Sir I've subdued the alien commander! What shall we do with it?"

General williams got a perverted and sadistic grin on his face he answered

"We shall round up all the surviving aliens into a camp where we will strip them naked and inspect their sexual organs and then we will learn about their anatomy via raping them so hard they won't be able to walk for a month!"

The Thug tug slammer smiled and laughed "Yes Sir! We'll be the first Spongebobians in the history of Spongebobity to have sex with an alien! Hahahaha!"

Meanwhile across the planet

The turians weren't battling just the Spongebobians.

The turians were also battling Barnaclebots which were the military wing of the cult of Sandy.

A Barnacle bot looked like Robbie the Robot but with Barnacle boy's face sculpted into its glass head.

Bigger arms that shoot buzz saws and two tentacles on its back that are mounted with lava squirting guns.

And in the middle of the Barnacle bots was a Sigma frog fish (A giant walking frogfish created from an Elephant, they appeared last chapter)

The Sigma frog fish was a red frog fish that had two legs and was fifteen feet tall.

Sigma frogfish are used as tanks in the confederacy.

This Sigma frog fish was being ridden by a female Goofy goober fogger spongebobian.

She commanded it "Fire your acid onto the heretics!"

The Sigma frog fish obeyed and spat a glob of acid onto a group of turians melting ten of them alive, their entire bodies armor and all melted.

She then commanded "Now club them with your tongue!"

The sigma frogfish stuck out its tongue and drilled its tongue into the ground.

Soon its tongue emerged from the ground in the middle of the group of Turians.

The Sigma frog fish's tongue was no ordinary tongue, it looked like an elderly fish lady carrying a giant Icecream cone which it will use as a club.

One Turian soldier commented "Spirits that things tongue is by itself an abomination!"

Right before his skull was bashed in by the icecream cone the tongue was carrying.

The other Turians opened fire on the Tongue striking it with Mass effect rounds.

The Tongue flinched but continued attacking.  
It bashed in the skulls of six more Turians using its Icecream cone and then it began spinning around (although not nearly as fast as a Spinner) taking out five more Turians through sheer blunt force.

The tongue then retreated going underneath ground and back into the Sigma Frog fish's mouth.  
Now it was the robots turn to attack.

The Barnacle bots launched Buzz saws from their arms, the flying buzz saws cut through the turians kinetic barriers and their armor and finnally their flesh like it was paper.

The Barnacle bots also squirted lava on the Turians from their tentacle mounted lava guns.

One turian cradled his stump of an arm, the result of a close encounter with a flying buzz saw, he wailed in pain and his wails of pain increased when he was covered in lava.

Another Turian soldier ended up decapitated due to a flying buzz saw.

The Sigma Frogfish and the Barnacle bots alone were doing a pretty good job of massacering the Turians.  
But the latter weren't the only robots there.

There were also the Exploborgs, the Exploborgs were orange round blue eyed robots with no legs instead flying via a propeller on the bottom.

The Exploborgs were suicide bombers.

One Exploborg flew down into the midst of the Turian squad and once there self destructed, scattering its as well as Turian body parts every where.

Another type of robot there were the Tar tar and the Ham-mer.

The Tar tar was a silver bipedal robot with a cube shaped body and a cube shaped head, it had green circular eyes, a single antenna with a red sphere on it.

Stick figure arms and legs, and a giant jar on its back that was filled with a mixture of expired tartar sauce and acid connected to a gun.

The Tar tar robots attacked by squirting their tartar sauce acid mixture onto the turians.

There were currently seven Tar tar robots and they each squirted their mixture on three turian soldiers each making those turians scream in pain.

One turian yelled "Spirits those robots are squirting gooey acid on us!" before he himself was squirted on.  
Then there was the Ham-mer

The Ham-mer had a grey cube body with its left arm being small and wimpy while its right arm was a big stick with a metallic ham on it to act as a hammer.

It had two heads with six eyes on each head, its eyes were octagon shaped and glowing green while its heads were cube shaped.

It had no legs and instead flew via a propeller on the bottom.

There were ten Ham-mers.  
The Turians shot at them with Mass effect rounds.

But the robots were protected by their sheilds causing the mass effect rounds to fall uselessly to the ground.

The Ham-mers in turn closed the distance and beat the turians to death using their Ham hammers.

A Ham-mer smashed one turian soldiers skull in and was shot at by another turian soldier who he then promptly killed too.

Now its time for a quick Codex entry  
CODEX: Robots

Robots also known as AI are revered as the holy offspring of the science goddess Sandy in the Confederacy.

All robots are built by the Tech Rabbi who perform various holy rituals to establish a pact with the science goddess Sandy to ensure the successful creation of a robot.

For instance the creation of each robot is accompanied by a prayer to Sandy, followed by the ritual sacrifice of a Mud lubber (Black slave) as a part of the principal of Equivalent exchange, one soul in exchange for another(The soul of a slave in exchange for the soul of a robot)

With the exception of Mermaid mandroids who are simple minded labourers, all Robots are granted Citizenship in the Confederacy and some can even hold positions of government.

In fact the planetary governor of Tentacle acres is a robot!

Now back to the battle!

Now there was yet another type of robot that had joined the battle.

The G-love.

This robot resembled a green and purple frisbee with five gloved arms on it.

It flew through the air and attacked by spinning at great force pummeling the turians with its hands.

One G-love robot struck a turian so hard he broke the turian's neck.

That G-love was then shot at by a few more turians but the mass effect rounds were no match for its shields.

The G-love flew towards the turians and struck them too, killing them with pure brute force.

So to make a long story short the Turians were getting their asses kicked on the ground.

MEANWHILE IN ORBIT

It was even worse in orbit, there was only a single Turian ship left The Palaven's wrath and it was standing on its last legs.

Desolas on the bridge cursed wondering just how this new race could be so powerful.

He had seen this new race's ships launch missiles that when they impacted against their (the turians) ships instead of blowing their ships up it turned the crew inside into birds dying of an unknown disease.

CODEX: Leprosy duck bombs

Leprosy duck bombs are a type of spongebobian weapon invented by Stephen hawking post transformation.

These weapons are a type of matter transformation they transform their victims into a duck dying from leprosy.

This weapon comes in two forms the Leprosy duck bomb glove which is a glove that launches these bombs.

And missiles that are launched from space ships and gunships.  
END OF CODEX

Desolas had seen this races ships blast his fellow turian's ships apart like they were paper despite being outnumbered.

And no matter how many mass effect rounds they threw at this new races ships it seemed impossible to break their shields.

In fact they haven't even managed to destroy a single ship so far!

Desolas thought this was the end.

But instead of his ship being consumed by blinding laser fire.

There was a cascade of bubbles appearing on his bridge.

The bubbles appeared out of thin air and took the shapes of strange creatures, creatures with quarian legs and Drell like hands.

The bubbles took on these form and then fused and solidified into the form of a sapient creature.

There were ten of them on his bridge.

Four of them were Thug tug spinners.

Five of them were Planktopolis poppers who were members of the cult of sandy.

And their leader was Captain David anderson the trench popper.

The turians on the bridge were stunned and freaked out by the sudden arrival and the weird appearance of these aliens.

One Turian asked "How did they get here? Did they just teleport? But that's impossible! Not even the salarians know how to do that!"

Another turian commented "They look like freaky fish people, some of them don't even look the same species!"

Another turian soldier commented "They've got a quad like a krogan!"

Desolas then snapped out of his stupor and pulled out his firearm and opened fire striking David anderson.

David anderson shrugged off the mass effect round, his spongebobian durability and regeneration coming in handy.

David anderson then returned fire striking and blowing a huge hole through Desolas' chest via his energy blasts.

This snapped the other turian soldiers on the bridge out of their stupor they were about to open fire but were quickly shot down by Anderson as soon as they raised their weapons.

This left two turian soldiers on the bridge left alive.

They were shaking in fear.

Anderson got a sadistic grin on his one stalk eyed face as he began stroking himself.

Needless to say this grin combined with the sight of the monstrosity before them stroking itself combined with witnessing what these monsters had done to their fleet.

Caused one of the surviving turian soldiers a male to void his bowels and fall to the ground crying.

"This can't be happening this can't be happening this can't be happening!" he chanted like a mantra repeatedly.

The other surviving turian soldier a female was shaking nervously.

Anderson walked up to her and she backed away until she was up against the wall.

Anderson said "Here is how things are going to go, you're going to tell me why you're people attacked a world of the confederacy, if you tell me immediately and tell me the whole truth I'll only rape you once and I'll be the only one to rape you.  
However if you lie or I sense you withholding any information I'll rape you till you bleed and then I'll allow my men to rape you till you die and then once you're dead we'll rape your friend to death"

The female turian gasped, tears began to swell up in her eyes.

"How could you be so cruel?" she sobbed out

Anderson began dry humping her, he laughed "Doesn't your culture have Rapist rights? I beat you so I'm allowed to rape you so declares Pearl the goddess of love, teenagers, puberty and Sex, also Kill the heretic, Rape the heretic tear the heretic to shreds, so declares Plankton the god of war"

The female turian said "So you're a fucking religious fanatic! You're crazy! Your religions crazy if it demands that you kill and rape people!"

Anderson punched the female turian making her spit blue blood.

"Enough of your blasphemy heretic, are you going to speak the truth or are my men going to have to rape you and your friend to death?"

She sobbed and said "Please don't hurt us I'll tell you everything you want to know"

MEANWHILE BACK ON TENTACLE ACRES

We come upon a prison building that's in the shape of a Banana, it overall resembles one giant banana.  
Inside the building the cells were filthy, covered with shit and parasites.

But it was even worse, suffering was going on in these cells.

The turian prisoners of this war were sxreaming in pain and horror as they were being brutally raped by their Spongebobian captors.

We see a female turian bleeding from from her vagina as a thug tug slammer violated her with his crowbar.  
We see a male turian bleeding from his ass as a Hillbilly slammer violated him with the handle of his banjo.

And finally we see Saren, who was the one suffering most of all.

Saren was being sodomized by the Shell city dead ahead spinner General williams.

While A Goofy goober fogger had gouged out his(Saren's) left eye and shoved his (The goofy goober fogger's ) penis inside Saren's left eye socket.

Three goofy goober slammer spongebobians were both trying to force Saren to give them a blowing at the same time.

Saren could only let out muffled choked screams of pain, sadness, horror and most of all hatred.

He hated these aliens, he no longer cared about what they originally done.

No he hated them for what they were doing to him and his men right now.

Saren felt the goofy goober fogger ejaculate inside his left eye socket and tried to vomit from disgust.

But the three goofy goober slammers with their penises in his mouth forced him to swallow back his vomit along with their semen.

"Oh no you heretic slut! You aren't vomiting all over our dicks! Swallow your vomit and our jizz too while you're at it"

"Yeah Heretic whore!"

Saren's rage intensified but he was helpless to act on it, if his rage was a fire it would consume the whole planet and the solar system it was in like a super nova.

Blood and semen dripped down Saren's face as he tried to howl in rage.

Only to choke on semen.

It was then that General williams shell phone went off.

CODEX ENTRY SHELL PHONE: a shell phone is a piece of technology that is an upgraded version of the cellphone that resembles a conch shell.

When its placed to its owners ear the shell phone will interface with its owners nervous system and will create a holographic interface that only the owner can see.

The owner can manipulate this holographic interface with his/ or her thoughts alone.  
END OF CODEX

General williams stopped sodomizing Saren and picked up the pink conch shell shaped object that was his Shell phone and placed it on his head so it could interface with his nervous system.

The process was completely painless and soon a hologram of Captain David anderson appeared in his vision.

Along with a red holographic keyboard.

General williams greeted his friend "Well Hello there David, I see your family jewels are moist I trust you've been having fun with the invaders as well?"

Anderson smiled "You bet your ass I have! I raped this one female alien right after I got her to spill her guts on everything she knew.

Buckle your seatbelt because this is going to be a long ride, the aliens that invaded us are called Turians and they're apart of this alliance of aliens known as The Citadel council,

They attacked us because we broke one of their laws by activating a Mass relay which was forbidden after the Rachni wars, and Unfortuneately our use of robots breaks another one of their fundamental laws these aliens hate robots viewing them as evil and out to destroy organics"

General williams gasped in shock and outrage "So these heretics attacked us because we broke a law we didn't even know existed?!  
And they actually hate Sandy's holy offspring?! This is heresy! This race is wallowing in heresy! We can't allow this to stand! We must go to war to kill the heretic, rape the heretic and tear the heretic to shreds!"

Anderson pounded his fist into his hand "SpongeBob damn right you are, we must teach these heretics a lesson but first we must get approval from Manager supreme Phineas to go to Total full scale war"

General williams replied "Right after this call is done I'll contact the Manager supreme"

Anderson smiled and said "Good well I must be going but I'll be down there soon to deliver the two turian survivors of the space battle to a prison"

General williams said "Well it was nice talking to you old friend, good bye"

The two then hung up.

General williams then ordered "You three pull your penises out of this heretic aliens mouth I want to talk to him"

The three goofy goober slammers complied albeit reluctantly.

General williams then taunted "How does it feel Turian? Knowing that we've defeated you so soundly? Your troops were massacred and now the survivors including you are our bitches such as our rapist rights given to us by the goddess Pearl!,  
Your people are helpless against us and if we go to full scale war your entire race will be made our sex slaves!"

Saren glared with all the hatred he could muster before saying with a voice full of venom "I swear on the graves of everybody who died here that I will exact revenge upon your disgusting abomination of a race! Some way some how I will hunt you down to extinction! You are going to suffer you are going to die in fucking agony!"

The amount of venom and hatred Saren had in his voice actually managed to send a shudder down the spines of General williams and the spongebobians in the room.

But only for a brief moment.

General Williams regained his cocky demeanor and said "I highly doubt that, and even if by some blasphemous miracle that does happen, in the here and now you're our bitch so we're going to have fun with you"

The spongebobians then went back to raping Saren while he thrashed and screamed in rage.

MEANWHILE BACK ON THE DAMAGED PALAVENS WRATH.

David anderson the trench popper asked the now naked turian female who had spongebobian semen dripping down her leg (Anderson raped her once)

"Can you still contact your council? If so do it now! I want them to know we're coming for them! I want them to know what my people did to you and what we're going to do to them! We're going to turn them into our loyal submissive sex slaves!"

The turian female sobbed "You're crazy you're crazy wanting to take on the entire council! You might've won against us but there's no way you can win against all of citadel space!"

Anderson punched her yet again "Listen up bitch because I can tell you're in denial! From what you've told me you turians have the strongest fleet in citadel space and we kicked your asses without sustaining a single loss, do you think any of the weaker fleets will stand a chance?!"

The Female turian took this in and stuttered "N-n-Noooo! P-P-Please don't do this! Don't invade citadel space! Please don't hurt my people anymore then you've already have!"

The Female turian realized that these spongebobians were probably the biggest threat to galactic peace since the Rachni.

Anderson then ordered again "Contact your leaders or I'll rape you again!"

The female turian sniffed a few times and said "O-okay b-b-b-but m-m-may I get dr-dressed first?"

Anderson smiled sadistically as he fondled her left breast "No you must contact them in the nude"

The female turian was filled with shame and humiliation but she had no choice so she said "F-f-Fine then"

SO WE NOW GO TO THE CITADEL  
(French narrator) Aw the Citadel, the hub of Council space.

We come upon a Turian male who had grey markings on his black face, he was wearing blue clothes that were quite fancy.

He was in his office grumbling "Why hasn't the fleet sent in their report of their victory over that lawbreaking race yet?!"

It was then that a blue asari with white facial markings in a red and white robe entered the office.  
She asked "Sparatus what's this I hear about a fleet of turian ships mobilizing to fight a new alien race?"

Sparatus sighed "Desolas on the Palaven's wrath encountered a new species, however this new species was violating council law by activating a dormant relay, Desolas tried to stop them but his ship was damaged and the ships that were with him were destroyed, so I ordered reinforcements, to enforce our laws on this new race"

Tevos facepalmed, took in a deep breath and growled before shouting "That race probably didn't even know they broke any laws! And you're going to punish them for it?! This isn't how first contacts are supposed to go! I hope my people can get this sorted out before there's to much blood shed"

It was then that the Salarian councilor barged in and said "You might want to take a look at this, we just received a transmission from the system The Turian fleet invaded and its not from the turians atleast not willingly"

"WHAT?!" roared Sparatus making Tevos flinch and cover her ears at the volume of his voice.  
Sparatus stormed out followed by Tevos curious as to what the salarian councilor was talking about.

The council entered the chambers and viewed the holographic projection and gasped.  
(Tevos and Sparatus did)

The holographic projection was of a naked female turian who was doing her best to preserve her modesty by covering herself up with her hands.

And right beside her was a naked green bipedal one eyed snail like creature with short green hair and what looked like an organic gun that was attached to his shell.

Sparatus immediately bellowed "WHO ARE YOU AND WHAT DID YOU DO TO THAT PROUD SOLDIER?!"

Anderson laughed "I'm captain David Anderson of The Jefferson davis, a ship of The Confederate states of America, which is God king Spongebob's chosen nation you filthy heretic! And as for what I did to her? She was a heretic so I raped her, but I was merciful and only raped her once rather then raping her to death like she deserves for her heresy"

Sparatus clenched his fist and shook with rage he whispered "H-how dare you"

Tevos was herself shocked and horrified that a soldier of another race would rape an enemy soldier.

The Salarian councilor was indifferent as he had already learned this though he considered these Spongebobians primitive and barbaric.

Sparatus voiced his thoughts "You are a barbarian! My fleet will level your fucking planet!"

Anderson chuckled "No it won't Turkey tits tell your precious councilor what we did to your fleet"

He slapped her ass while saying this.

The female turian began to speak

"W-W-W-we outnumbered them 4 to 1 yet we couldn't bring down a single one of their ships! And they d-d(sobs) destroyed all of ours except this one which they teleported onto FUCKING teleported onto!

He killed Desolas and raped me, and on the ground they decimated our troops and the survivors are being used as sex slaves being raped even worse then I was!

They're called Spongebobians and they're crazy religious fanatics that like to rape and kill non believers! They've got technology that alters the very form of matter!

They're like nothing I've ever seen!"

The council was shocked and appalled.

This new species despite being out numbered 4 to 1 had decimated the turian fleet without taking any losses themselves.

The council were impressed by the spongebobians military power but disgusted by their cruelty.

Anderson then resumed talking "So heretical councilors your attack on our colony of Tentacle acres means war, we'll kill you we'll rape you we'll tear you to shreds as commanded by our gods!"

Sparatus got a look of pure rage on his face and yelled "You fucking psychos I'll"

But he was then interrupted by Tevos who yelled "Shut it Sparatus we can't risk a war with this race!

Anderson I apologize for the turians brash attack on your people, believe me when I say that the citadel council doesn't want war with your people!

We don't usually go out attacking all the new species we meet we do our best to avoid wars not start them, please let us send an ambassador to discuss the turians terms of surrender"

Anderson seemed shocked by Tevos' diplomatic attitude, for a moment the hatred and religious fervor died down in his eyes before he said

"I'll have to discuss it with the Manager supreme it's up to him whether we go to war or not"  
The salarian councilor piped up "Is this manager supreme your leader?"

Anderson answered "Affirmative, he's the supreme ruler of The Confederacy his name is Phineas murdock lee JR"

Anderson then said "Also there is another situation that may complicate things if we try to negotiate"

"And what is that?" asked Tevos.

Anderson answered "Your hatred of Sandy's holy offspring"

This confused the councilors.

"Please clarify" said the salarian councilor.

Anderson obliged and said "You refer to Sandy's holy offspring as AI, you have banned them from your space made them illegal, such an act is heretical under Confederate law as AI are the offspring of the Science goddess Sandy given to us as a gift to help the confederacy expand.

In The Confederacy AI have equal rights to Spongebobians and there are even cross species marriages between AI and Spongebobians, AI can also hold positions of government, in fact the governor of the colony the turians attacked is an AI specifically a Ham-mer robot"

The council were at a loss for words.

The council realized that Anderson spoke of AI itself with religious fervor instead of speaking about them scientifically.

The salarian councilor thought 'These spongebobians have a polytheistic religion and they're extremely religious, they're not very scientific as religion seems to seep into every part of their lives yet from what that captured turian soldier says they are more advanced then we are!'

Sparatus bellowed "You treat my people like slaves and rape them yet you give AI the royal treatment?! You people are barbaric ignorant savages!"

Tevos said "Sparatus calm down we can't risk aggravating them anymore then we already have!

Captain Anderson please contact your Manager Supreme tell him we want to send an ambassador and a diplomatic envoy to speak with your people, for now we'll do our best to ignore your AI *Pauses* thing"

David anderson replied "Alright councilor, thank you for your politeness, I'll contact the manager supreme right away"

The transmission was then ended.

Tevos then turned to Sparatus and said "Just what have you gotten us into?!"

WE NOW TRANSITION BACK TO CONFEDERATE SPACE

Back aboard the Palaven's wrath Anderson right after the call ended turned towards the raped Turian female and said

"Today just might be your lucky day Turkey tits, your people might not have just started a war they can not win after all"

The female turian let out a sigh of relief 'There's hope thank the spirits!' she thought.

Anderson then grabbed his shell phone and placed it on the side of his head again and contacted General williams.

Soon his friends hologram appeared in his vision.  
Anderson asked "Williams my old friend have you contacted The Manager supreme yet?"

A look of shame crossed General williams' face "No I haven't I'm sorry I got carried away in my lust it won't happen again"

Anderson quickly reassured his friend "No no this is a good thing, I've already contacted The Citadel council and they don't seem to want war with us! Well except maybe the turian councilor Sparatus.

But the two others the asari and the salarian I'm 90% sure don't want war"

General williams got an angry look on his face "It doesn't matter if they don't want war, they're STILL heretics and you know what Plankton commands us to do to Heretics"

Anderson nodded his head "Yes but don't forget what God king Spongebob said, if the heretic is willing to repent let them"

General williams sighed "You can quote the Divinus squarepants Qur'an as well as I can old friend very well, with permission from the Manager supreme we'll try to make peace with these Heretics"

Anderson smiled "Thank you old friend I'll contact the Manager supreme myself once this exchange is done since accepting the peace talks was my idea"

"So you shall" said General williams before the two hung up on each other.

Anderson then took in a few deep breaths and prepared himself to contact The Manager supreme.

(French narrator)

"One day later"

French narrator continues

"Ah the Destiny ascension the flagship of the citadel fleet, so beautiful, so large so magnificent, so so fucked if the negotiations don't go well"

(END OF FRENCH NARRATOR SPEAKING)

We see the Destiny ascension emerge into confederate space.

The Destiny ascension was a cross/ star like ship.

What was the flagship of the citadel doing in Confederate space?

Lets go into the ship and find out.

We see a group of Asari on the bridge, blue feminine aliens with tentacle head ccrests.

This group of Asari was commanded by Matriarch lidanya who was captain of the Destiny ascension and head of the diplomatic envoy.

One of the asari maidens asked Matriarch lidanya "Why are we bothering to negotiate with these savages? They're religious fanatics and rapists and they use AI and even consider it sacred! They're anathema to everything that the council stands for! We should be gearing for war!"

Another Asari maiden said "I concur, they might've beaten the turians but if all of citadel space throws ourselves at them they'll surely fall"

Matriarch lidanya replied "Maybe but we'll take heavy losses before they do, they've got technology that puts ours to shame we can't afford a war with them, now I expect all of you to be as polite as possible"

"Even to their AI governor?" asked one of the asari maidens.

"Especially to their AI governor part of the peace talks are that we can't afford to antagonize their leadership"

The asari maidens sighed "Fine then" they answered

Before thinking 'Atleast we have our most powerful ship if everything goes to war'

They then received a transmission.

One of the asari maidens reported "Matriarch we're receiving a transmission from the Jefferson davis the flagship of the confederate fleet"

"Patch it through" ordered the Matriarch

A hologram of David anderson appeared.

Matriarch lidanya said "Greetings captain do we have permission to send drop ships to dock on your planet?"

Anderson answered "You have no need to we'll Bleed you through Bubble buddy onto the surface"

This term confused Matriarch lidanya and the asari.

"I'm sorry what?" asked Matriarch lidanya.

However her and the five other Asari maidens then began to turn into a cluster of bubbles before each bubble began popping.

The next thing they knew they were in what looked like a luxurious mansion with blue floral patterned walls.

"What just happened?!" exclaimed one Asari drawing her weapon.

They then heard an electronic but feminine voice say "I suggest you put down your weapons in my palace lest I kill you myself"

The Asari turned to the source of the voice and saw a Ham-mer robot.

But this one was feminine with breasts, an hourglass figure and synthetic hair on both heads.

Matriarch lidanya ordered "Put your weapons down all of you"

The Asari maidens began to protest but a glare from the Matriarch forced no argument.

Matriarch lidanya then asked "I'm assuming you're the AI governor of this colony we heard about, and I heard that your people possess Teleportation I'm assuming that's what Bleeding through bubble buddy is, teleportation and what we just went through"

The female Ham-mer robot answered "You're correct on both accounts, my name is Scarlet grace Ramsay and I'm the governor of Tentacle acres,

and Bleeding through bubble buddy what you call teleportation is a holy gift that was given to us by the science goddess Sandy you should be honored that you're the first of your species to experience that gift"

Matriarch lidanya asked "Can you please explain your peoples religion to us? It would help us understand why you do what you do"

Scarlet grace smiled with both heads, a gesture that unsettled the Asari "Of course come this way, I've already put the mud lubbers hard at work to prepare for your arrival"

The asari followed the two headed AI, until they got to a dining room with a large table.

To the asari's shock the table was being prepared not by beings that looked like Captain Anderson but by beings that looked like them (the asari themselves) except with hair and dark skin.

Matriarch lidanya asked "Are these people a subspecies of your creator's race?"

The Mud lubbers flinched at being compared to their masters and held their heads in shame.

They also awaited the outburst from their governor.

The Mud lubbers were the black slaves, and unlike the spongebobians who were free to go nude,  
the mud lubbers were forced to wear a slave uniform that resembled the cardassian military uniform from star trek but with a clarinet like shoulder pad on their left shoulder

They also had a cranial implant sticking out of their head that resembled a combination between Spongebob's krusty krab hat and Manray's face.

This implant was called The Manray's nails and it made sure The Mud lubbers stayed obedient to both their Spongebobian and robot masters via torturing them if they disobeyed.

Scarlet grace the Ham-mer robot didn't disappoint with her outburst "NO THEY'RE NOT SPONGEBOBIANS!"

She ran a hyperventilating simulation to control her anger while The Asari were intimidated by it, except Matriarch lindanya who was bewildered.

The matriarch then asked "Then what are they?"

Scarlet grace answered "They're mud lubbers, the slaves of the confederacy their sole purpose in life is to be the confederacy's slaves as dictated by our gods, they're such worthless inferiors that they aren't even worthy of being raped by a Spongebobian"

Matriarch lindanya and the Asari were even more appalled.

"So you have slaves, for the sake of diplomacy I'll keep my opinion of that to myself, did your creators abduct them from their home planet?"

Scarlet grace answered "No, Mud lubbers and Spongebobians come from the same planet, the cradle of The Confederacy, Robert"  
Matriarch lidanya thought 'They're just like the batarians maybe even worse' before saying

" So your creators became the dominant species of Planet Robert and enslaved the weaker species, like I said for the sake of diplomacy I won't tell you my opinion of this let's get to the peace talks and exchange of information about our communities"

Scarlet grace said "I don't care what you think of our practice of slavery so feel free to speak your mind I won't bow, I'll meet you with the rage of the gods now Mud lubbers bring our guests some Krabby patties and Sakeglobin!"

"YES MISTRESS" yelled and saluted all the Mud lubbers in the room before running out to get the food.

Matriarch lindanya definitely recognized the fear and subservience of a slave in their eyes and posture.

She sighed and thought 'I've got my work cut out for me'

CODEX BLEEDING THROUGH BUBBLE BUDDY: In Spongebobism Bubble buddy is regarded as one of God king Spongebob's angels

Spongebobism myth states teleportation or "Bleeding through bubble buddy" as they call it was invented when Bubble buddy was gravely wounded in a battle with Plankton the god of war.

The science goddess Sandy saved The angel bubble buddy's life by hooking him up to a life support machine named Mountain lightning.

However she couldn't stop him from going into a coma.

Sandy not wanting Bubble buddy's powers to go to waste, turned him into a gift for God king spongebob's children in the mortal realm by converting Bubble buddy's veins into a teleportation network.

The machines which are believed by Spongebobians to access this network are called The Gates of Bubble buddy's veins.

Subsequently teleporting through them is called Bleeding through Bubble buddy.  
END OF CODEX

AUTHORS NOTES

Well that's a wrap for this chapter.

In the next chapter the Asari will learn about the different subspecies of Spongebobian, and of how the confederacy came to be and of how the Spongebobian race came to be!

The Galaxy is in for a huge shock!

Also the robots I used in this chapter, except for the Barnacle bots and the Mermaid mandroids all the robots in this chapter are from the spongebob game Battle for bikini bottom.

So please follow fav and leave a review!

And stay tuned for next chapter!


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